I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
