I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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