I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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