she woke up with a sticky ear
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
