Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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