lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
