so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
