don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
