My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
