Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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