Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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