my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
