What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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