Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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