420 ftw
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
