walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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