so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She needs sedatives and a leash
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
