I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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