Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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