My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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