My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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