is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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