I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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