The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
