with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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