That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize