You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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