Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
two words: eviction party
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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