The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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