I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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