this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
