Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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