I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
