you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
