So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Someone came in the potted fern
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
