Porn is love you can see.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
