Im at strip club and am horny
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
