I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
