i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
