we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
