Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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