he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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