my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
