How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize