Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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