Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
