is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The uberlube is also flammable
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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