He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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