With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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