Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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