By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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