a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize