I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize