hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize