Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I won the penis lottery.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
