My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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