I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
