I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
