why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
