I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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